(Warning: Typos Intact, Not Legal Advice)

Can I refuse to be my stepfather’s POA that my mother has assigned if she passes away before him?

My stepfather has dementia and is receiving at home care and is in the late stages. My mother is his main caretaker and has many health issues. She has appointed me as her POA and my stepfather’s POA should she die before him. His biological daughter and granddaughter have stopped coming to visit and live in another state. If something happens to my mother can I refuse to be my stepfather’s POA? We do not have the means or financial ability to care for him.

Answer: You may be appointed as someone’s attorney-in-fact pursuant to a written power of attorney. However, that does not obligate you to act as the attorney-in-fact. The choice to act as someone’s patient advocate, attorney-in-fact, or financial agent is entirely up to you, and you do not have to accept. In most states, before someone can act as another person’s patient advocate or agent, they must formally accept the responsibilities of the role. Since you have not signed to accept those responsibilities, you have no obligation under the power of attorney.

This is a good time to note that sometimes people agree to act as an agent under a power of attorney and sign the document because they are asked to do so. This is always a mistake if you are not fully prepared to take on the associated obligations, as it creates a presumption that you are acting as someone’s agent. Only agree to act as an agent if you are willing and able to do so. No one can force you, and there is no obligation to accept the role. However, if you do agree, then you must fulfill the obligations to which you have consented.